Wednesday, 10 October 2007


Signs of Autumn. I like it when the seasons do what they are supposed to, soft autumn sunsets, colour in the leaves, though these were exceptions to what is really happening I'm hoping that October will bring some more Autumn colour as things change and the world outside the window starts to think about sleep.

I'm thinking about sleep too. Not getting enough but trying to. To answer Dana's Q in last post comments, I did hear from the Doc but have not wanted to write it down. Have ruled out other things he suspects reckons I have M.E. / (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) again. I'm not pleased, but I'm not surprised.

At least now I have some official support to try and get better instead of being regarded as lazy or bothersome which used to infuriate me as I'm the most un-lazy person - a compulsive worker who would work every minute of every day if I could (ha, and I wonder why I'm sick).

Having gone through this at college I have always been terrified of it happening again. When I stayed sick after my 1st lot of Shingles 6 (or 7?) years ago I told myself it was connected to the shingles and not M.E. When it happened again earlier this year I put it down to the shingles again and the stress of being made redundant (and trying to deal with Marley's manic hysterical co-owner).

But 6 months have passed and I'm getting worse rather than better so it's time to face reality and deal with it. Not that I haven't been dealing with the symptoms, just the psychological aspects of accepting this IS what I have so I won't be better in a few weeks. I just wish Mr P and my family weren't so anti-illness, it'd be nice to have their support rather than their weird reactions.

Once again I'm not spending much time on the computer and haven't been reading or replying to emails very regularly so if you've sent one, don't take it personally if I take a while to reply. Right, I'm off now to hook up to my TENS machine. Tried it twice yesterday and didn't much like it since neuralgia already feels like thousands of small electric shocks, but will persevere and give it a chance, I may just need to get used to it.


Anonymous said...

hi Cally, thank you for your comments! i especially appreciate them knowing what you are going through right now. i hope you are getting the support you need around you...

i'm touched by your pictures of these beautiful things you made and captured even at times when you are not feeling your best. what amazes me is that there is rarely much anger or negativity in them. there may be some greyness in them, but almost always, there is color and light to them. and that must come from a soul that embraces life in all its form and makes more out of it than most people, doesn't it? yes.

i especially enjoy seeing more of your work and all of your red berry art. :).

Cally said...

thank you, i'm so glad to hear that this is how my work and photo's seem. it's so hard to know sometimes. i'm glad they don't seem angry, it is so important to me to see something positive, even in the grey skies.

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