Sunday 27 April 2008

Drive-by shooting, the good kind

LA drive-by (click image to enlarge)

Mum used to worry about drive by shootings in LA. But it's ok when it's me doing the shooting, with my camera. This shot, like so many, was taken as we flew by in the car. I love it. I love the degrees of focus/unfocuss, blurring/sharpness. I love the white picket fence with the red/pink flowers peeking over the top against that lovely grey blue background and the man walking by with the baseball cap. I love the soft shadows on the building, the pistachio ice cream colour of the metal tubing (I think it was for a billboard). I love the crisp clean lines of the cables against the sky.

Marina Del Ray drive by (I think)

It's 4.53am. I can't sleep cause my PHN has flared up massively so I've spent 3hrs catching up on Alicia's blog. It's amazing to think that in the past I used to visit the people on my side links most days. Certainly not less than weekly. Now there are many I've not been to since New Year because I'm too tired. I feel bad because I do really want to keep up. My friend in Australia text me yesterday to ask how LA was. I felt so guilty cause I've never had the energy to write up a proper email about the trip. Even what I've posted here has been image based. She wants me to use facebook but I really struggle with anything that requires a password to access it. I have too many passwords to remember.

Plus, I dislike having to read everyone else's comments in order to get a context for what is being said. I mind find it easier if I knew the people, but almost everyone I know on facebook lives in another country, so the people are strangers to me and the extra effort of sifting through their writings fries my addled brain. Anyone else find that or is it just a Chronic Fatigue thing? I like things simple, find site, look at friends post/pics/email,respond if I have energy. No special access required. No unnecessary strain on the brain. My poor confused brain (Liz, your text made me laugh, the one about cognitive dysfunction, especially as those are my initials).

West Hollywood drive-by

The ME/CFS world talks a lot about 'brain fog' and it's certainly been a big reason for my comparative lack of computer use in the last year, especially when it comes to blogs that are heavy on writing and tell ongoing stories. It's like my brain just can't keep all the info together, it muddles up people, places, names and dates (and let's not get into how much is forgotten within seconds of entering, literally seconds). And, of course, I get sucked in, emotionally. I get excited, inspired, enthused, engrossed or perhaps saddened, and I want to leave comments. All things which take up energy I don't have anymore and add to the fizzing in my brain. So, until my brain cells are back to normal I'm afraid, friends, that the blog is still the best I can manage communication-wise. It covers the widest base of people I would normally contact in other ways. A one stop shop, and that all important place where I can feel I achieved something, even if it is just to put a few more pictures up.

Venice drive-by

Well, my goodness, I never expected all that to come tumbling out. Sometimes it just happens that way (usually in the wee small hours if I can't sleep). Yet if I had planned to write any of this it would never have happened. The weight of necessity really pulls me down, so when these spontaneous moments come it's best to go with the flow. But blimey, it's nearly 6am! I've just realised it's daylight outside. I can hear the birds singing and the radiator clickety clicking (weather still pretty cold). I was just saying to Alicia that we are going to have Daffodils in May (unless some more freak weather comes and squishes them before Thursday). It's all ahoo (yes Jill, still plugging away with Jack and Stephen). Speaking of Jack and Stephen, I read a nice line yesterday '...I saw him running about on deck before I came below, laughing like a holiday' (from The Surgeon's Mate, Patrick O'Brian). I like that, though the aforementioned addled brain had changed it to 'happy as a holiday' which I rather like.


mansuetude said...

i was up last night, late listening to an very musical rain by candle light-- but envy you staying up till the morning light. i think it is nice to do that once a month, just because.

Anonymous said...

Oh, cally. So sorry you were up all night, not feeling well, not resting. but happy you wrote all you did. during the worst of my radiation treatments and the fatigue, i got just a little glimpse into what fatigue feels like and can i say, i think you are doing amazing dealing with it all. that you keep up with this here blog is a wonder. and a gift to us. i really appreciate it. and even if you never have the energy to come by my cancer blog again, no worries. i'll sign off with my art blog, which is almost always pictures and an easy "drive-by" for weary folks. if you have a burst of energy, why spend it on the internet? ba humbug on facebook, i say!

be well and take care of your sweet self. i admire you to no end.

jill said...

excellent quote! my fav of the day is "deboshed, improvident fish". Jack's comment on his crew.

love to check in and hear about Scotland as I lost my adorable Scottish father in law this week. :(

sending you lots of healing energy and sunshine from CA!

sulu-design said...

Your images, as always, astound me.
I totally understand where you're coming from regarding your thoughts about blogging and keeping in touch. I used to visit my favorite blogs ever day and would post constantly on mine. I'm finding that life has been to full (in a wonderful way) for me to keep up with these things all the time. That's why I love visiting your blog, where I can admire and image and not get too bogged down in things. Feel better, and continue on in whatever way makes you happiest!

miss milki said...

LOL! I'm so with you... but you're doing so much better than me on the blogging! I'm a very bad blogger these days, only blogged about once in the last 3 weeks! Ah well, i reckon I do it for me and i'm not goin to feel guilty about it.

Did you manage to get that Yoga for Fatigue DVD in the end?

Anonymous said...

As I write, I can hear The Far Side of the World being read aloud on tape as my husband washes the dishes. I read the whole Aubrey/Maturin series, but my husband prefers to be read to, so I am enjoying a second progression through the books as he listens. I just love Jack and Stephen.
I hope you will find your fatigue falling away like an old coat very soon, and in the meantime just do what you can. Thanks for the beautiful drive-by pictures, they are Callirific, as usual.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...