I was looking through Imelda's archives, (not that I got past the first month)I found the work of Geraldine Gonzalez. I got totally confused because for a second I thought Imelda had somehow posted a photograph of my old house! This woman makes the same things as me, but professionally (i.e. I assume she actually sells them, whereas I just create them for parties and then keep them till the get ruined when I move house).
It is so weird to see someone else doing this, part of me thinks WOW I love it, and part thinks, well why the hell am I not making a living out of it? It's all about confidence though, and selling yourself to the right places. Somehow I just never manage that part. It's like I'm expecting some shop or gallery owner to pop their head in my house (not in it's current demolished state of course) and say WOW I love your sculptural lighting and want to show it around the world but you can just hide away in your garden and I'll make all the effort and send you cheques, big cheques. And praise, lots of praise. And your idea of the perfect world will be validated.
I just HATE being shy. It's so ridiculous because when I'm around my friends I'm so chatty, maybe TOO chatty, but put me in front of a 'grown up' and I crumble, go red and stutter. And let's not even mention the various nervous twitches that break out if I think they don't like me or my work. Ahhh, so frustrating. I know I should be making a living from all the things I make (and there is such a wide variety).
I briefly thought about going into Theatre because I could mix set, costume and prop design, but people I know who do it say it's very competitive and bitchy which I'd hate. Plus deadlines, I bet they have tight deadlines. Not that I can't handle them, when I had my graphics business I quite enjoyed them, but when you are dealing with things that take hours to dry, or sew, it's different to a computer based deadline. Well, it is for me anyway.
Even when I did have exhibitions I detested opening nights, even my own degree show was totally traumatic and I abandoned it on opening night and went to look at others. God forbid anyone realise I had made these things and ask me about them, or worse, criticise them (and therefore me, they were very personal).
I'm guessing I am not alone in this.
Well, that feels a bit better, getting that out of my system, thanks to anyone who made it to the end of this rant. And now let me leave you with some pictures of Geraldine's work, this is basically the sort of thing I do, except a wider variety of media such as lace, translucent fabrics, recycled materials, beads, buttons, ephemera etc. as in this post.