Thursday 22 March 2007
Miriam Verbeek + Marley
Sorry, I can't remember where I originally got this link for this wool necklace and detail by Miriam Verbeek
Today is a sad day. My brain can't work well when I'm this sad.
I feel heartbroken. Don't worry, no-one has died, but after a truly horrible day yesterday, and no sleep last night due to hideously gruesome night terrors so I was really looking forward to the fresh air and fields on my morning walk with Marley.
When I arrived at L's house to get him she was there (a work from home day) and was in tears. He had become just too much for her, and instead of walking him we had to take him back to the cat and dog home. It was awful.
I didn't get a last walk up the hill (and it was so sunny). I never got to take him to the beach. I never even got a last cuddle cause a girl came and put him on a lead and then just went. You know how you don't think straight in these situations. Too damn British to say 'Hey Lady, that's my dog I'm never going to see him again, I'd like to say goodbye'. Not that he cared, trotted of wagging his tail and never looked back. He's like that.
To be fair to L, he was a difficult lad, so much energy, very challenging for someone living on their own and who is not confident with dogs. He just overwhelmed her. She will get another dog in future, and I will still share him with her. She was really upset thinking I'd hate her and never speak to her again.
It's been weird, to share in a dog in this way but to be dependent on another person being willing to keep him. I found him hard going at times too, but mostly he was a blessing to me in this bizarre year that I seem to be having. I don't need a man to complete me, but a dog helps. I'm more myself when I have a dog.
Next time she will look for an older female dog, and my walking will begin again. The hills and beaches aren't going anywhere. But I will miss Marley terribly, his blonde furrowed brow, his ginger eyelashes, his warm smell and his utter daftness. I hate that I'll never know what happens to him, who he ends up with, if he gets a good home. More tears tonight I think.